Reminiscing

May 12, 2009

Yesterday I spent a half hour (really… what a waste of time) reminiscing some of my travels by playing with the “5 famous Landmarks I’ve seen” application on facebook. It was fun actually because memories came to the surface that probably needed to and it made me really pumped about the upcoming tours and travels for this spring and summer.

One memory in particular that keeps haunting me is connected to Picasso. How romantic. When I think about Picasso as a man, I imagine how I would act around him. My guess is that he would have hated me and I would’ve loathed him because he liked his women to fight over him and I would’ve done my absolute best (again a waste of time) to make sure he knew I’d rather drown than fight over him or for him. But there is one painting of his that I would fight for and have fought for. It is a self portrait of him from the Blue period.

When I was eighteen, I found myself, at one point, penniless in Boston. Hanging out at the House of Blues, visiting with other travelers who would share their wine with me at little pubs and cafes (as I was underaged). I was a bit of a romantic. I remember philosophizing with a beautiful German woman in a cafe… smoking her long cigarettes and discussing things like universal love or why it is good to be good etc. I won’t laugh at my younger self because that is what I love about youth… the fantastic fantasies and innocent beliefs and then the overwhelming joy and pain one goes through as their presuppositions shift and grow (or shrink).

While I was in Boston, much of Picasso’s body of work was on display at the Museum of Fine Arts. Remember, I mentioned already that I was penniless. When some people say they’re broke, they don’t take into account that they have savings or stocks or whatever. But me, I had ten dollars after having paid for a hostel for three nights… so I walked everywhere and was hungry at times. Most of the museum was accessible for free… so I wandered and soaked in Monet, Rembrandt, Durer etc. But it cost to get into the Picasso exhibit, so I would stand outside the entrance and crane my neck to get a glimpse of his work. I wanted to see that portrait so bad.

But I didn’t see it.

Fast forward three years. I’m in Paris with my then boyfriend. I insisted we go to the Musee Picasso. I was excited. I thought, this is it! I will finally get to see this painting! What will I feel when I look at it? How much have I changed since I was in Boston? I felt as though I was a satellite for this piece of art like Picasso’s women were for him. When I entered the building I was thrilled to just walk around and see his sculptures and sketches and paintings… sort of holding off, trying to work up to seeing the elusive painting closer to the end. But… the floor where his portrait hung was under restoration and I was unable to view it. Strike two.

In 2006 when I performed with Dar Williams and Caroline Herring in Paris I flew in four days early and spent those days by myself. Walking the streets of Paris. Standing in front of the Notre Dame Cathedral, looking at John the Baptizer holding his head in his hands. Drinking espresso in the Latin Quarter. Writing in my journal, all-the-while fighting a manic impression of myself … the cynic vs the romantic. Do I enjoy writing in my journal in the Latin Quarter sipping my espresso? Hell yeah! Do I feel like a poser? Hell yeah.

One of the main reasons for flying into Paris early was to revisit Musee Picasso and finally get to view the painting. But… it eluded me once again… it was on tour in Berlin. I did however end up meeting a man from Brussels in a red scarf while I was perusing the museum this time and we went to a quaint place close by for delicious red wine and good conversation.

Do you ever wonder why a particular song or a certain painting strikes home to you? Why do I like to play soccer and not volleyball? What is it about this painting that appeals to me so much? If ever I do get to see it, I imagine that I will take my time looking at it. I will let it sink in very slowly… that I am finally able to look at it with my very own eyes

I am excited to hit the road once again playing songs from my new record Lions and Werewolves. See you out there… and if anyone ever wants to buy me a print as a gift… now you know!

Much love, alana